having dragged my wobbly granny cart full of art supplies for this weekend's installation through rush hour subways i finally reached the waiting room for the governors island ferry. sweaty and flustered from my cagoule, the horrible humidity and grey drizzle i plopped myself on the bench and took a minute to get my mind together.
the past few days of preparation have left me uptight and nervous - and it dawned on me today why... this is probably one of the first times in my life when i have done something totally on my own. of course on a day to day basis i do lots of things on my own, in fact i enjoy my own company. but when it comes to big 'stuff', projects, things i want to do well at or that are important i have always had my sister there. or once we were doing our own thing i had boyfriends or fellow collaborators to offer emotional and physical support.
suddenly i felt lonely. and intimidated by the realisation that this weekend's success rests on my shoulders.
and then just at the right moment my friend johan appeared. and suddenly i felt less lonely but i also knew that doing this alone will be just fine.
from the moment twins are conceived their lives are a negotiation of space. we are hannah and amy, individual yet always intertwined.
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